Stop Searching, It Will Come

  It's been almost a month since my break up with my last lover.  Things seemed to be going well for the 2 months that we were together, however entering
 into the third phase or third month I noticed that his communication would get slack, unless he needed money or needed some type of assistance.  My ex, whom we'll call "Anton," turned out to be a sweet dream and beautiful nightmare.

  Anton seemed like the perfect one for me, but then there were too many red flags and I began catching him in several lies. He would complain about me doing church work and accuse me of not making time for him, when I would sacrifice time with friends and family for him.  However, Anton could not sacrifice for me. So , I had to let him go. 

  I know my worth and I know what I deserve, and I deserve better than a quickie and more than a relationship out of convenience for what I can do.  I need someone that can value me as whole and will treat me like the King that I am.

  I didn't really want to write about the break up, but I needed to get it off my chest. For some reason this week, I felt overlooked and rejected when it came to dating. Granted I've been getting hits from Facebook and other dating apps, but it's always the same games.

You know: the nsa, you have to fit certain criteria, and stuff that make you feel like you aren't good enough, or either you must be DL and masculine.

  I'm sorry but that's not what I'm seeking. I'm seeking a lifetime commitment and not a fly by night operation.

  I've resolved within myself to stop searching for love and the perfect relationship and it will come to me in due time.  I want it to be right now, but right now, I have so many things that I want to do for myself and I'm not sure if I'm ready. Only time will tell.

  I've learned that good things come to those who wait. I guess I'll have to wait.